| This is it. Don't get scared now. Face the future fearlessly, and behold not merely the ultimate wheel bag in our line-up, but the single worthiest wheel pack on Earth! This is not hyperbole. This is reality. Whoa, doggy. Pick that jaw up off the floor. Seriously now. You're droolin' on our website!
The elite backpack on wheels is absolutely brimming with storage space that has been implemented in as logical and efficient a manner as possible in order to avoid overwhelming you. Many a time-saving feature have been designed to further keep you and your things nice and tidy while you're out there hoofin' it. We pulled out all the stops and left nothing to spare.
Every inch of this monstrous 600-Denier polyester bag does something useful, and it shows. This is the biggest wheel pack we offer at 13.5" x 18.5" x 7", and it also boasts the greatest number of pockets, pouches, and compartments of any comparable product. Whether you're carrying a monolithic stack of textbooks the size of that crooked tower in Tuscany or your favorite Pilot pen and the compact dayplanner that goes along with it, you're sure to find a suitable pocket somewhere on our elite wheel bag!
The main zippered compartment is so huge we couldn't find an adjective that satisfied us, so we created our own neologism to properly encapsulate its immensity: behemonormolossal. The main zippered compartment of our elite wheel bag is truly behemonormolossal. We're currently in talks with the fine people at Webster about making "behemonormolossal" an official part of the glorious vocabulary of the English language. Stay tuned (and wish us luck... they don't appear to be taking us seriously).
But while the main compartment, in all its behemonormolossal awesomeness, is perfect for notebooks and binders and folders and laptops and other cumbrous unmanageables, rest assured the elite wheel pack offers plenty of auxiliary carrying capacity for everything else! A pleated pocket on the front of the bag is itself of considerable size. The two zippered compartments of this pocket are ideal for separating out your larger items rather than storing your miniscule possessions.
For the teensy weensy stuff, (pencils, PDA's, spitwad shooters, and the like), look no further than the full-fledged built-in organizer, as well as the two side-by-side pouches sewn onto the exterior of the pleated pocket. You keepin' track here? That's, like, five front pockets in addition to the main compartment!
The right-hand front pouch opens with a traditional zipper. An external mesh sleeve functions as temporary storage for quickly reaching personal effects. The left-hand pouch is about half the size of its counterpart and is accessed via a foldover flap that buckles closed. The interior of this pocket is itself broken up into multiple sleeves and compartments, and a mini zippered pouch built into the foldover flap would do well as a secure place to keep spare change.
Yeesh! Man, we're awestruck just reading our own product description. But if we're pretentious enough to start making up words to better serve our elite pack's high-end status among the global wheel bag community, there sure as heck better be more to it, right?
Yep. There sure is. Azippered side pocket, integrated cell phone case, and a side mesh pouch ensure the elite wheel pack is nothing less than a rolling office space. If our math is right-on (and as most of us were theoretical physicists before becoming bag makers, it ought to be), we're up to a main compartment, two big auxiliary pockets, four little pockets, two mesh pouches, a cell phone case, and an organizer. That's a grand total of eleven compartments!
So go ahead. Be indiscriminate. Slovenly, even. Your days of picking and choosing what to carry with you are long gone. Gorge this pack with as much rubbish as you can, and feel no shame!
Of course, if you're going to go ahead and do that, you'll be thankful for this bag's dual nylon compression straps. These adjustable buckled straps can be tightened to allow you to lessen internal load-shifting within the pack, thus maintaining a tight overall profile and enhancing general stability. Talk about stability, don't forget that each wheel has been paired up for a total of four wheels spaced wide apart for a creamy smooth ride.
The two-stage telescoping handle can be adjusted out to your desired length, and operates fluidly and reliably by way of the heavy-duty guide plate on top. And when the going gets tough, the tough grab ahold of the double-stitched, steel-riveted padded carry handle. Dual keychain rings one either side of the handle accept all manner of keys and the fun, self-expressive doodads which are essential elements to establishing yourself in the wheeled backpack scene.
What's left, but the whipped cream and cherry on top, right? That would be the five life-changing color combos and our worry-free three-month warranty. Now those are the kinds of extras you won't want to wrap up in a napkin and throw away (unlike the poor cherry on top)! The elite backpack on wheels doesn't just simply have it all. It... it's, uh, well... it's more than that... or something. Yeah. Yeah, let's just stick with "it simply has it all." |
