| Fifteen Years in the Making
Welcome to a brave new world… the world of Kickin’ A Packs ‘N Stuff’s Elite Tommy’s Gun Pack! This represents the dawn of a new era for our company. Indeed, it is the biggest product launch of our careers since we first introduced the Original Tommy’s Gun Pack fifteen years ago!
Our Elite Gun Pack is not a replacement product for the Original Tommy’s Gun Pack, nor does it in any way nullify the great features and effectiveness of that fine product. The Tommy’s Gun Pack has changed very, very little since its inception because the design is so economic that essentially nothing could improve it. There was no point making arbitrary adjustments to the way the pack was built simply to awe folks with our “revolutionary” self-innovations. People know exactly what they’re getting with the Tommy’s Gun Pack, they know it works and that we stand by our craftsmanship, and beyond that we saw fit to leave the gun pack undisturbed for a decade and a half.
But fifteen years is a long time to think up new ideas, and we’ve definitely engineered some good ones. So for those seeking the single greatest gun fanny pack that mankind will ever produce in our lifetime, we went ahead and re-designed the Tommy’s Gun Pack with some luxury features and advanced functionality that will blow your socks off. Before reading on, sandals are advised.
The Fabric of Reality
The first major improvement to the Elite Gun Pack is that it is manufactured entirely from 1000-Denier DuPont Cordura, a synthetic nylon-based fiber of impeccable quality. Its origins lie in the discovery of “artificial silk” in the late nineteenth century. By extracting cellulose from wood pulp and weaving it into a yarn, a new filament called rayon was developed. Technically, rayon was the first artificial fabric in that we took a naturally occurring fibrous material and processed it for use in the textile industry. After all, until a human being turns it into yarn, wood pulp isn't much use to anybody!
Rayon was pretty strong with high abrasion strength (making it great for usage in tires and belts for trucks and tanks during World War II). However, as it was derived from organic plant matter, it had issues with tearing and falling prey to a wide variety of chemical solvents (making said tires and belts susceptible to shrapnel and common oxidants like chlorine bleach).
Attempts were made to create a true inorganic synthetic material that could overcome these weaknesses. The obvious approach to the bright fellas at DuPont was to focus on the field of polymers. Most molecules, such as water, are very simple and very small. One oxygen, two hydrogen. Everybody knows that! Some molecules, though, are extremely large and complex (we still can’t see them, but they’re huge compared to everything else around them at the molecular level).
Polymers are just such macromolecules – they are truly gigantic constructs made up of thousands of molecules arranged in a repeating chemical pattern. If a polymer could be developed with a structure strong enough to be drawn out into a yarn, it would stand to be the optimal successor to the rayon legacy.
The first polymer representing a true artificial, manmade fiber was polyester. Esters are really cool compounds which occur often in nature (the scents of many fruits are derived from esterified chemicals) and are created when one hydroxyl group of an acid is replaced by an alkoxy group in an alcohol. In other words, take an acid, take an alcohol, stick ‘em in water and see what happens.
Alcohols are polar substances, meaning they exhibit both negative and positive electric charges and can easily create molecular connections (or bonds) between themselves as well as other substances. For the purposes of synthetic fibers, acids make the best partners for an alcohol because they can readily donate the hydrogen ions required for the chemical bonds in a condensation reaction required to create a stable new compound.
The Original Tommy’s Gun Pack is made from an extremely high quality 600-Denier polyester created through the esterification of terephthalic acid and ethylene glycol. The material is plenty thick and tough for daily usage with heavy objects like firearms, with tremendous tear strength advantages over rayon.
Because the acid used in the esterification process gives most of its free hydrogen ions to the ethylene alcohol, the resultant polymer is positively-charged and water insoluble (thus, machine-washable). Polyester does not repel oils, grime, mold, and mildew, but instead traps them within the yarns, which is sufficient to protect the contents of the pack although long-term damage to the fabric is inevitable through chronic heavy usage. Good thing we have a lifetime warranty in place, huh?
There are other problems with polyester, as well. Its low melting point puts a very tangible cap on how strong you can make the polymerized chains (tremendous heat is necessary to achieve the most robust of fibers). It is also susceptible to detrimental reductions to its molecular weight brought about by changes in air pressure and thermal oxidation.
Basically, oxygen and sunlight take its toll on the coloration and longevity of polyester, and the only way to go about fixing this is to introduce copolymers into the chain. Copolymers are polymers designed to specifically enhance a particular aspect of the compound (in this case, increasing heat and air resistance), although polyester would be rendered unfit for dry spinning due to the increased thickness of the raw material. These types of synthetics are better suited for things like plastic soda bottles.
Further research by DuPont pushed the focus away from esters and into amides, a type of chemical derived from ammonia (which DuPont was currently using in the production of military-grade explosives). It was found that by replacing some of the hydrogen atoms in ammonia with an alkyl group, you could create a derivative (called an amine) to be used as the basis for a new compound instead of a standard alcohol like ethylene. Combining hexamethylene diamine and adipic acid in a condensation reaction identical to that used to produce polyester created the first nylon polymer in 1935.
The Miracle Fiber
The Elite Tommy’s Gun Pack is completely built out of 1000-Denier nylon Cordura. It’s pricey but it’s truly incredible stuff. Ballistic nylon has a greater tear-strength-to-denier ratio, but is pretty stiff at the weights we require and it’s almost impossible to dye. Ripstop nylon is not safe for gun finishes, is an overly breathable fabric for our intended use unless you cripple its tensile strength with a waterproof coating, and poses long-term maintenance issues as it easily stains. Only Cordura gives the Elite Gun Pack the balance it deserves.
For starters, Cordura doesn’t rip or wear down under any condition, and is unaffected by air or sunlight. The primary polymer chains are further enforced by copolymers which add little bulk to the filaments, and which are designed to prevent ready oxidization of the material, thus resisting mold, mildew, dirt, and oil with ease. Its high melting point means its molecular structure is heat-set during production and unimaginably resilient.
Rather than a mono-directional chain like polyester, Cordura consists of a super stable interlocking double-bond system called peptide bonds. Peptide bonds are exactly what give natural fibers like silk and wool their soft tactile properties, and are so strong they are used by your own biochemistry to hold together the most important molecules in your body, such as proteins and DNA.
The only way to break the peptide bond of Cordura is through the addition of water (simply because the byproduct of a condensation reaction is water, so to simply reverse the reaction you just add the byproduct back in), although bolts of Cordura do not naturally absorb water easily because the adipic acid used in its manufacture tremendously slows down the process. In fact, it would take centuries for submerged nylon to eventually break apart and the Elite Tommy’s Gun Pack is perfectly machine-washable.
Cordura can also be dyed almost any color. Currently fifteen colors, ranging from black to digital camo, are available in your choice of either a two-tone, solid, or supertone design.
Sounds Good. Anything Else?
Why, yes. There’s plenty more. Every Elite Tommy’s Gun Pack is painstakingly made to order, one at a time, at our Simi Valley workshop in Southern California by Pat Williams, founder of Kickin’ A Packs and the man who holds the patent on the Original Gun Pack. The heavy-duty belt (2” in width, a law enforcement standard) has been revamped with a heavyweight Glossflex nylon webbing featuring a 7700-pound force breaking strength (in other words... invincible). The belt is sewn to your individual waist size and is velcro-adjustable up or down six inches. Elastic belt keepers maintain a sharp, tidy look to your belt.
Both buckles are made of acetal resin, which is similar to molded nylon except it adds an aldehyde to the carboxyl group of the polymer, creating a single massive chain of exceptional strength. Acetal is one of the strongest thermoplastics on Earth and is impervious to heat, moisture, and chemical solvents. Even multiple hammer blows will leave these buckles totally unscathed. Trust us, we tried. Acetal is an industrial-grade plastic used for engineering and mechanical applications, and now… gun fanny packs, too!!
The Elite Pack’s deployment buckle remains unchanged in functionality from the Original Gun Pack and is used to open the main compartment via the patented breakaway double zippers. Just grab the buckle, disengage it, and pull forward to reveal your weapon for a quick retrieval! To see our patented draw mechanism in action, CLICK HEREto watch a super duper awesome video complete with cutting-edge lounge techno in the background. Don't be shocked - we're only miles away from Hollywood, baby!
Please note: Kickin' A Packs 'N Stuff, Inc. cannot and does not recommend or guarantee the usage of the Original Tommy’s Gun Pack as a means of self-defense in any kind of scenario. That said, the gun pack was certainly designed to allow for the possibility of smooth and easy deployment of your weapon for self-defense purposes, although you do so completely at your own risk and Kickin’ A Packs ‘N Stuff, Inc. will not be held liable for any consequences that result from your use of the Elite Tommy's Gun Pack - physical, legal, or otherwise.
The belt buckle (the one used to actually attach the gun pack to your waist) has been upgraded with a Cop-Lok buckle. These special buckles present two advantages. First, a center-mounted release catch means you must press three locking mechanisms, not just two, to disengage the buckle. It’s a piece of cake when you’re wearing the pack, but to a malicious third party hell-bent on quickly removing your pack and making off with your stuff, it’s almost impossible. Secondly, the Cop-Lok’s coiled side support structures provide additional flexibility to the locking brackets, eliminating the potential for breakage.
The front zippered pocket is accented by an integrated sewn-in magazine holder which comfortably adjusts to fit clips of all sizes and capacities. There are three mag holders built into the Small pack, four for the Medium and Large, and a monstrous five mag holders in the Extra Large. Speaking of which, the Elite Gun Pack accommodates more weapons than ever before with the addition of the Extra Large size. Coming in at 12” x 6.5”, the Extra Large pack is well-suited for revolvers (up to 6” barrels) and very big automatics. Yeah, like Desert Eagles. No, we’re not kidding around!! Whaddaya think we are, a bunch of jokers?! The other sizes – Small (8” x 5”), Medium (8.5” x 6.5”) and Large (10” x 6.5”) – have not been altered from the Original Gun Pack's design specifications.
CLICK HEREfor a graphical explanation of how to size your weapon for the appropriate gun pack. Keep in mind the amount of usable space in the pack. The Elite Gun Pack is generously padded with open-cell polyurethane foam to protect your weapon and other belongings from minor impacts, as well as allow for long-term comfort in wearing the pack for extended periods of time. The foam consumes some of the available space. Usable dimensions are as follows: Small (7" x 4.5"), Medium (7.75" x 6"), Large (9.75" x 6") and Extra Large (11.75" x 6"). If your weapon is exactly equal to the usable width of a particular size, you're in the clear. Even a centimeter over, however, and you MUST MOVE UP to the next size or the draw mechanism will not operate correctly!
All zippers on the Elite Tommy's Gun Pack are YKK number 7 coils – the best zippers in the world, period. Seriously. They're exceptional. We love them. The YKK number 7's operate smooth as butter and last forever. We’ve also incorporated a stealth zipper design into the Elite Gun Pack. Cordura pull cords (rather than metallic zipper pulls like you're used to seeing) neutralize your acoustic profile and prevent broadcasting your position or movements with the sound of jangling pot metal. Great for joggers! The zippers are quadruple-stitched for unmatched toughness, while the remainder of the Elite Pack is carefully double-stitched for extreme reinforcement of each and every stress-bearing seam. Our lifetime guarantee on all material and workmanship still applies to the Elite Pack, although we have severe doubts that it will ever come into use!
The Final Word in Gun Concealment
We live in a progress-minded world. We want the best products in the world to become better, and we want it done in a day. Technological breakthroughs are exploding at an exponential rate, and there’s never been a more exciting time to be alive in the history of human civilization. The Original Tommy’s Gun Pack was the result of lots of research and experimentation, and Kickin’ A Packs ‘N Stuff nailed it the first time around.
Still, years of tinkering around in the shop, listening to customers, discussions amongst ourselves, and advances in the textile business have given us plenty to chew on when it came to designing the next generation of gun pack. The Elite Tommy’s Gun Pack is the result, and we’ve managed to outdo ourselves in every respect. We’re super excited about it, and you should be, too!
The final word in gun concealment is here. For real this time. We mean it. The Elite Tommy’s Gun Pack has everything you’ll ever need to keep yourself safe out there. Buy yours today and gain instant membership to the elite ranks of Kickin' A Packs 'N Stuff! No prize. Just bragging rights! |
